Life with 2 kiddos

Well Chase is here and fits perfectly into our family-it has been a very easy adjustment-thank goodness! Natalie has had zero signs of jealousy and became potty trained in the week that he got home from the hospital. She is a wonderful big sister-patient, loving, helpful, and pretty selfless being that she is a toddler. Chase has been a pretty easy baby thus far-he sleeps about a 4 to 5 hour stretch at night, has a couple hours of fussiness in the evening but that is getting better, and is a great eater. I am so in love all over again! I was so worried that I wouldn't love him as much as I love Natalie or that since he was a boy and I wasn't the most excited about it-that I wouldn't have the same love but as soon as he was born I was overwhelmed with love. Natalie and Chase have both been sick this week-my sister came to visit and unfortunately her kids got sick while she was here-Natalie had a fever for a few days and is now just stuck with a cold-Chase got a cold with some bad congestion but it is easing up. I took him to the doctor just to be safe since he is still so young ((3 weeks) but they just said make sure he doesn't get a fever. I have made several ventures out with the two of them by myself and it wasn't any different-we have been shopping to the mall, grocery shopping, etc..which grocery shopping was a bit of a struggle just because there was no room for the groceries!

Steven and I just joined the gym and I am hoping that I will be able to get in shape and be healthy-my struggle is that I lack self-discipline. My hope is that I will be ready to get out of the house and want to go to the gym. I would love to have my figure back from when we got married-which is a healthy size 6 or even an 8. So we shall see how the progress goes.

I know there is more to tell-but I am pretty exhausted-up last night because I have a clogged milk duct and I am really trying to prevent mastitis-but I was so worried and every couple hours kept pumping/putting hot compresses etc. but it still hasn't let up-teach me not to skip a feeding! I pray it doesn't turn into mastitis-because that was so miserable with Natalie. Anyways, will try and update post pics soon

Trying to be patient....

Well-I thought for sure I would have had Chase by now!! I am not late-still have 6 days to go to my due date but it feels like I am late-I had expectations to be about 2 weeks early since I was about 10 days early with Natalie so it feels like an eternity. Next pregnancy I think I will have learned to not count on my past pregnancies for what I should expect-lets hope I least. I have been trying to keep busy and spent a lot of time trying to get this baby out-been going out for walks with little spurts of a jog here and there, acupressure, sex-I even tried something called nipple stimulation-pulled out my pump and pumped the other day because its supposed to release oxytocin-well I read today that for it to be effective it needs to be done for like 6 hours a day for like a week-you can forget that!!! I will have enough stimulation to my nipples when he arrives! I know that I just need to let him come out on his own time (unless he hangs out too long in there). The doctors keep presenting inducement to me and I scheduled one for the 12th-but after more consideration-I think I am going to cancel it. It's been a hard decision for me because it would be convenient to be able to plan ahead like that and Steven is disappointed that I am leaning towards canceling it but ultimately this is my body and my decision. I have heard both positive and negative stories with inducement but for some reason my heart isn't settled with proceeding with it. So that's that and I am pretty certain Monday I will call and cancel-now if he hangs out in there too long-I will definitely reconsider.

Natalie has been keeping me busy-now that I am home I am keeping her in underwear/naked...I tried the pull ups today because they were Dora and she really wanted them-but if she is wearing a diaper she thinks its ok to pee/poop even though she is able to verbalize not to. So I hate that she is so old and not potty trained and am really going to work on it keeping her diaper free all the time (except for nighttime) once Chase has arrived and things have settled just a bit. Funny story--With this wicked cough that I have had for over a month now and the baby on my bladder-continence has been an issue for me-so I either have to change clothes a lot or wear a pad to help protect myself-well Natalie calls this my diaper. Today she came into the bathroom and looked in my underwear and said, "Mommy where is your diaper?" I thought it was pretty funny-Steven thought that I was sending her the wrong message about potty training-not much I can do about it though. Natalie has gotten back into playing with her dolls again-she didn't want much to do with them for at least 6 months. Now she likes to line them up and read to them, calls them by their names now-it used to be a coverall Abby, and her baby Jessica has recently become the troublemaker kicking the other babies and she sends Jessica over to me for disciplining-she gets a big kick out of this.

Not much new in other news-I have signed Natalie up for preschool starting in August next year-can't believe she is old enough for that now-she'll be in school now for at least 15 years. I think it will be really beneficial to her though especially on a social standpoint. I had plans to do little lessons with her a couple times a week until then but haven't been successful in carrying through with it. She knows almost all of her capital letters and when we are driving down the road points out the letters she sees, is able to count objects-though sometimes she still uses nine for the number three-and knows all her colors/shapes etc. She even was able to point out a hexagon to me the other day! It's 3 am here-had a spout of sleeplessness and am hoping to get back to sleep-haven't been sleeping great. Hope you all enjoy the 60 degree day again today-I know we will!

New Years Update

Happy New Years!! I always struggle with New Year's Resolutions-it usually is always along the same lines-generally eating better/exercising more frequently and reading the Bible more- which trust me would both be great habits for me to start. However, this year, I didn't attempt to vow something that I generally fail at-just for the fact that in a month I am not sure how my life is going to change with a new baby. (It is sooooooo hard to believe that I have a little over 4 weeks to go to my due date!) I do hope to set aside some time to get in the Word more and trust me I really hope to exercise more-but not knowing yet what Chase is going to be like-I am taking one day at a time (something I am not very good at-I am always looking ahead to what is next.)

On a side note-since I just included the baby's name-it is pretty much decided-I even have his name for above the crib painted and ready to hang. For some reason, the name hasn't really clicked with me but it is the only compromise that we can come up with and I do like the name-so unless something drastic happens in the delivery room-the name is Chase. Steven had told me that if we used Chase I could pick the middle name-and I am pretty sure I like Chase Maddox the best-but we will see...just ready for him to get here so I can meet him. I am not one of those mothers that feels a really strong connection to my babies in womb-I remember feeling the same way with Natalie but as soon as I saw her I had the most overwhelming feelings of love. As the time draws nearer I am feeling more excited/anxious to meet him-especially this past week as I have been in nesting mode-I have his clothes washed, nursery set up, closets organized, etc.

Natalie is doing well besides the chronic cough she has now-she always seems to get this after a cold at least twice in the winter time-fortunately she is in good spirits. She has really blossomed these past couple months into more of a child-she has developed quite the imagination. She randomly tells me there is a snake in the house or a skunk we have to tiptoe around-it's very cute. She loves to have tea parties, play her board games (we are still learning all the rules), play computer games, etc. She has kept very busy with all her new toys from Christmas and I must say too-it's nice to play with some different toys too!

I have started my new working schedule-working only six days a month (two days a week for two weeks and one day a week for two weeks). I am so grateful to have this job and think that it won't be a difficult transition going back to work earlier since I am working less (I plan to take 12 weeks off but I stayed home a year with Natalie). I have also started weekly doctors visits-this Friday I think will be the first time they check me for changes-last week I had the strep B test). Not too much else is going on-Steven has been great watching Natalie at nights while I have been going out with friends-though I think it's starting to get to him a bit. Tomorrow night I am going out with a friend and then on Friday night, my lifegroup friends are taking me out for a girls night/shower to celebrate and then I should be home more. It has been very nice getting some away time with my friends and I hope to give him a chance to go out and do something fun soon too. When my parents get back we hope to plan a date night too since we will be homebound probably on V. Day-we only go on a date two maybe three times a year-so it will be nice to reconnect a bit. Anyways, American Idol and Biggest Loser are starting!!!!

It's been a while...

It's been a while...but I don't feel like there has been too much to tell! So I thought I would share some cute little Natalie stories for my memory's sake. After Thanksgiving, we as most others were putting up our Christmas tree so I was sharing with Natalie about Santa Claus (which on a different note I am having trouble balancing talking about Jesus' birthday and Santa Claus-I want her to grow up with the focus of Christmas being about Jesus and the gift that He is and how we should help others less fortunate-but unfortunately for myself I tend to lose sight of this all somewhat as well). Anyways, back to my story-I was telling her that Santa Claus is going to come to our house and leave her presents if she's been a good girl-and she flipped! For like 1-2 hours she kept obsessing that Santa would not come, that she was scared of Santa, and did not want any presents! Then, she started crying (not a whimper-a full out scared cry for like 5-10 minutes)..imagine if we took her to see Santa Claus at the mall! That would be pure torture for her. I thought that was cute-I know tons of kids are scared of seeing Santa etc but I didn't know kids were scared of Santa leaving her a present-I told her that Santa would leave the presents outside!

Just last night I started being a little firmer with the whole bed time thing-I know I have talked about it quite a bit on here-but to refresh since moving in the big girl bed she hasn't been as great of a sleeper and I have to be in her room or on the stairs for her to go to bed. I realized that since I do the whole bedtime thing the majority of the time and with a new baby that I might want to change this habit sooner rather than later-so last night I talked to her about being a big girl and that big girls go to sleep on their own in their own bed. (The past few nights she has been sneaking downstairs at 2 a.m. or so and giggling until I wake up-she says "I wanted to check on Mommy and Daddy". So instead of sitting on her floor for 45 minutes and creeping out of her room 2 to 3 times a night-last night I said it is time for bed and for Natalie to go to sleep by herself-what should happen if Natalie gets out of bed and doesn't listen to Mommy?" And she replied a spanking-and I said ok-if you get out of bed you will get a spanking...it worked like a charm! I couldn't believe it was that easy-after sitting in the dark on a the hard floor for so long each night. Even in the middle of the night when she woke up (last night she woke up from a bad dream about Caillou-her old favorite tv-show until like 2weeks ago-when suddenly she became afraid of it!) it worked. Hallelujah!

Yesterday, when we were in the car we were talking and I said Ok Nat! And she told me "No Mommy. My name is Natalie, not Nat!" I thought that was so funny/cute-it made me laugh for quite a while-she sounded so grown up too.

Her favorite things to do right now is dance, run, march-any verb she can think of around the room while listening to her music CD from her Kindermusik class. You can often find us doing this around and around our living room/kitchen several times a day. She also likes to sing and march to the Ants Go Marching-unfortunately the song has 10 verses but it's worth it seeing what a kick she gets out of it. At my Mom's house she has a book there to the song Skip to My Lou-and she does the same thing only this time reading the book, singing, running around, and telling anyone else who is there to join her! (Speaking of my Mom-she has lost over 40 lbs. these last few months and is looking great! I am soooooooo proud of her!!!!)

Just wanted to tell a few random stories-I know it wasn't very interesting but I am afraid I will forget these things if I don't write them somewhere. As for the baby-we still haven't decided on a name-we dont' ever really talk about it-I am almost 32 weeks along-not too much longer!!!

Halloween and more....

The fun we had at the park and Henry's Ark!

This is how Natalie fell asleep one day during our walk-very cute!

First off-I am very excited!!!!! Natalie is currently down for a nap-I can't begin to tell you how much of a struggle this has been and just to have one day every now and then is a blessing! Since we have moved to the big girl bed her sleep patterns have changed (for the worse) and I am hoping it is still just an adjustment that she is having to get used to. Today she woke up at 5:40 a.m. (last night she went down at 8 and with no nap-well she just isnt' getting enough sleep-fortunately she doesn't get too grumpy) so I laid down on the chair next to her and told her if she got up out of bed she would get a spanking-she got out once and I followed through and she made some more attempts but after about 45 minutes she is sleeping peacefully in bed. Hallelujah!!

Here I am 26 weeks pregnant!

Steven and I are close to a consensus on the name of the baby-as I just entered my last trimester. I have dropped the name Brock because I think it sounds too close to Barack-not that I have anything against him but I don't want it to get confused or for people to think I named him after the president. One of the names we have always both liked has been Chase but he works with someone who has the child's name and wanted to see if we could find something else-well we haven't and I think we both are so sick of arguing over it that I would guess that Chase will be his name. He said that we could use one of my middle names (within reason-he has banned many of my names including Rylan, Mekhi, Sawyer, etc..) but it is hard to find a name that has really flowed. One of my favorite names though not unique is Noah-and I didn't want to use it for a first name because I would feel like I would have to use a N name for our third..so we will see.

Natalie only has 5 more music classes and I am sad-it has been such a joy to see her open up in front of others, learn, sing, make friends, etc. With the new baby and winter we won't be able to do much so I think I am going to start a little preschool curriculum with her at home-teaching her her letters, numbers, maybe a Bible verse/story, crafts, some sort of math/geography, and some sort of exercise two to three days a week. My sister does it with a friend of hers and the kids love it and I think it would help to break up some of the monotony of the winter days ahead with some structure/education. We will see if I get organized enough to do it!

Steven was off work Tuesday-Friday this week and on Tuesday we were able to enjoy the day together by going to Henry's Ark and on a picnic lunch after voting of course! It was a lot of fun and a good way to spend some quality time together as a family. On Wednesday and Thursday I worked this week so on Wednesday Steven took Nat to Puzzle's Fun dome-an indoor blow up place with playground-she really enjoys spending time with her Daddy! On Thursday Steven came down with like a 12 hour bug-his stomach and head were bothering him so he dropped Natalie off at his Dad's house. I am thankful for that because Natalie and I both are well and no one else got sick. This coming week we are both off Tuesday and will probably go out and do something else.

As for Halloween-which seems like forever ago-Natalie enjoyed herself for the most part. She was very shy and didn't like the scary costumes-the first trick or treater at our house was the Grim Reaper-and she said "Natalie's scared"-which made trick or treating at first a bit of a challenge. Steven passed out candy while I took her around-it was supposed to be the other way around but she insisted I take her and she wouldn't walk-so we didn't get too far! We went to maybe 10 houses but her bag was full-our neighbors had special bags for her or gave her one of everything-just what I need-my weight gain this month will probably be a doozy! She kept saying "more candy" but I could only hold her for so long. Anyways, I think her costume turned out great-granted the tutu has some major flaws-(the ones I have made after that have been much improved) but she wore the peacock costume proudly! (and Sarah-yes of course you can borrow the costume next year!)

Visit to Chattanooga

Natalie loving on Tyson-she has a love/hate relationship with him-she is often seen poking or hitting him and saying No, No, No..so I had to capture the sweeter moments too!

The weekend before Chattanooga we went to Huber's Farm with friends to pick pumpkins-Natalie picked a pumpkin for "Brock"-I have sort of taught her to call him that-haha-even though the name isn't decided....While there we ate--mmm!! rode on the hayride to pick pumpkins, petted/fed the goats, launched apples and corn into the water with a slingshot and rode down the tube slide..it was a great day

Last Thursday Natalie and I packed up and drove to Chattanooga, TN (technically Ringgold, GA) to visit my sister and her family. I was confident that she would do great in the car because last year just the two of us made the journey and she didn't cry once and she had a DVD player in the car now that she had never seen..guess I was mistaken! We had to stop three times because of tears and then she finally fell asleep from crying-it was a long day-very rainy and I was thankful when we got there safely! She did much better on the way back thankfully and we shortened our drive by over 1.5 hours!

Natalie is obviously saying "Cheese"-hey at least I can capture smiles easier on camera!

While there we hung out-Natalie, Keighley, and Myles played very nicely together and Natalie wasn't too shy! Thursday we were planning on taking Keighley to her soccer practice but practice had been cancelled so we went and played at a park nearby. We took them to an indoor playground on Friday because of the rain and then had a picnic lunch at a park and then in the afternoon I went to the outlet mall close to their house. On Saturday, we had a great day-we first went to Keighley's soccer game-so cute (however, leave it to me-I got pretty weepy when Keighley played)! I can't wait until next year when Natalie can start something and hopefully I can better control my emotions!!! Then we went to a place called Coolidge Park in Chattanooga-kind of similar to the Waterfront Park here in Louisville but much nicer and more to do--it had a great lawn on the river like the Waterfront where we had another picnic and then went and rode the indoor carousel twice. Natalie had to be forced onto it-the first time we just rode on one of the benches because she was nervous and the second time I made her sit on one of the horses and she finally got the hang of it and even asked for "Two, three"--she says this quite often--meaning two or three more times. After the carousel we went and walked across the walking bridge over the river-which was beautiful and then stopped in Clumpy's icecream store for a treat-thanks Darnell and Kristin! It was great to escape for a few days and we had a great time!

The picture of the girls in their tutu's are tutu's I made for them-I was hoping that Natalie would want to wear hers if she saw Keighley wearing hers-Keighley loved it-Natalie took it off after a few minutes! Should be interesting next weekend when she wears her peacock tutu!

I also posted a pic of Natalie's big girl bedroom-she is now sleeping in her big girl bed pretty well. I have to sit at the stairs at bedtime for about 10 minutes-I think she just likes the reassurance that I am there and I tell her if she gets up then I will go downstairs--it keeps her in bed! She is waking up usually once in the middle of the night and I have to go lay down with her-hopefully as she gets more comfortable/confident she won't do this-it hasn't been too long since we moved her up into the bed.

Also, went to the Dr. today for one more ultrasound-yes that makes 3! Last time they couldn't get pictures of the heart that they wanted so they wanted to make sure everything was ok-it was-I wasn't worried-he is quite the mover! He is measuring on schedule-technically two days early-but they weren't going to change the date. I am 24 weeks-moving right along!

Had a bad day--

For some reason the past couple of days I have been a little more on edge and irritable which is unlike me as I am usually pretty even keeled and do very well with little sleep...but today I had a bad day and I let it get to me much more than it should have. Here it is at 11:30 p.m. and things finally hit me and I feel pretty guilty about the way I treated Natalie

Ok so to preface--in preparation for her big girl bed a couple nights ago I decided I should try out Natalie sleeping on the floor on her mattress before I moved the mattress up onto a bed. She really has been pretty great about it-the first night she didn't sleep well and thus either did I and I put her in her crib at 2:30 because I had to work in the am and last night it took her about an hour to go down (I have to sit in the complete dark outside her room and tell her to lay down until she settles down) and she didn't wake up once after that-so really I am pleased. However, I was hoping it would have been a bit more of a team effort (if you get my drift).

This morning was just a normal morning when I am home with Natalie except I took her to her pediatricians' office (who I really like) for a flu shot-we got there at 10:20 and didn't leave until 11:55. When I entered the dr. office I was the only one in there and so I thought oh great this will be really quick-I would say about 15-20 minutes after I had gotten there things got pretty busy and we were all waiting a while. Everyone kept getting called back except for us who were the first ones waiting--now flu shots are walkins-they don't do appointments for that and I knew that appointments were priority but after an hour I went up and told the receptionist that we had been waiting an hour (which was pretty assertive for me!). I said that we were the first ones in here and the last ones in here (there was another family that got there 5-10 minutes prior). She said ok and went on with her business-well what do you know a couple minutes later the other family got called back-and the mother said "she has been waiting here over an hour-she needs to go before we do"-the nurse replied well I have his stuff all ready but I will look into it. She did and apologized saying they had put Natalie's file in the wrong place but at that moment for some reason I had already lost it-crying in the Dr's office--a little embarassing!

So anyways Natalie did great there and got her flu mist and we went on our way to the grocery store-there she was a different story. She prefers walking in the grocery and I do let her some but she wants to push the cart by herself and the carts at Meijer are bigger than Kroger and she just couldn't do it...small meltdown-no problem... At checkout though she likes to unload the cart all by herself-well the cart was too full for her to get into to and she couldn't reach any of the items in it so I tried handing her the items but she lost it and was so mad that I touched the groceries--so I ignored her behavior and proceeded to empty out the cart and then she was screaming really loud, crying and even kicking and hitting me. I don't tolerate that very well so I tried time out and then gave her a spanking-which I do spank Natalie for things like that. So we got over that and when I got to the car I realized it was 2 and she hadn't had lunch and was tired and I was too--I understood that she is two, tired and hungry (though she did have plenty of snacks). So we came home ate and I went to lay her down in her crib-I was ready for a break..but she said no she wanted to lay on her big girl bed so I gave her some guidelines to follow and told her if she didn't follow them then I would put her in her crib-well low and behold she kept getting up so I put her in her crib-but apparently she figured out that she can climb out of it now-and so no naptime for Natalie. I was in desperate need for a break and sometime to lay down-and didn't get that.

Ok so I lost it on Natalie for repeatedly being mean to Tyson-for some reason she likes to bully Tyson around and thankfully he is good with it-but I told her to be nice, tell Tyson he's sorry and if she did it again she would go to time-out. Well it happened again after time-out, so she got a spanking-but I didn't stop at one-I did it multiple times(like 3 or 4). I think all of my day's frustration was taken out on that moment-and granted I think I crossed the line and shouldn't have done that what bothers me the most is how I let all my frustration come out on her in that one little moment and I didn't stop after one. It has really bothered me all day-it scares me to think that I took my anger out on her-the person that I love more than anyone else on this world (don't think I am leaving out Steven but a love you have for a child is just so different-its hard to compare the two) --someone who loves and relies on me for so much and the example I set for her. I hope that I use this as an example of what not to do and when I have days or moments like this to remove myself from the situation for a little bit to get some rest and gain my composure-and seek God more so on these days to give me strength, wisdom, patience, and love/forgiveness. I hope I can use this as a reminder to myself as well! Sorry for the long drawn out blog but it's my free therapy!